i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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