brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
