these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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