My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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