Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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