living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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