i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
