i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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