She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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