I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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