Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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