If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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