My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
