In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
