it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
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Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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