How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
