She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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