I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
