I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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