I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize