is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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