thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
