You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
