Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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