I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm always down for nudity.
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