He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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