): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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