yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
