it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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