I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
