he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
