We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
