thus making me awesome and them whores
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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