If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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