he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
