She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
