hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
