That's intense
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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