I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
