I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
