How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
