Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
