Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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