and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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