Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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