Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
