xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
