garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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