trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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