The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
