Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
