I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
