It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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