I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
