how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
