Jerry, you need to find god
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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