physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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