I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
