so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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