i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize