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she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
