I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
