Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
