In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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